literature

My Best Friend Is A Memory

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HeartsNeverBreak's avatar
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Literature Text

i cannot find the words
in the chambers of my heart
to calm the nostalgic memories
of the ones who i once so dearly loved
we don't talk we don't write
but i meant best friends forever
i'm insanely piecing old memories together
what would you say if you were here
reading lost writings of long ago
old nicknames and promises of always
being together living together
i can't breathe and tears persist
this is punishment for my pride
the pictures are all i have
my best friend is a memory of you
I miss them so freaking bad. It's been around 8 months since I was friends with them and still...reading through old things of us talking and looking through photo albums...it's like we were just laughing together yesterday. The worst part was finding out old college plans, of never leaving each other behind. These were my best friends of 5 (and one of them, 10) years. I see them around the school, one of them almost every day. When I do interact with them, it's like everything that we were is forgotten. I want them back. I still have to think, "what would ______ say?" and sometimes I'll have something so funny I want to say to them...and no one to tell it to. I hate how they can forget me. I wish they would miss me too. I want someone to tell me they love me, someone to be able to invite to go places I really want to go. I hate sitting inside by myself and the anxiety that comes with asking people probably don't like me to hang out. And I hate the new peoples excuses for why they don't wanna hang out with me. I want a circle of friends that I can call on the phone, go shopping with, organize events with...I let my pride come in the way of some of these friendships. And I shouldn't have. And now they're gone.

Sorry that was a long rant, feel free to ignore it and please enjoy the poem ^^
© 2010 - 2024 HeartsNeverBreak
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CosplayerLaseatia's avatar
I can see that you are getting a lot of people who say, "I can relate," well, I am yet another one who can relate.
I lost two of my absolute best friends in the whole world in a matter of months. Well, the first one kind of was happening over a period of time, but finally we got into a massive fight that we just stopped talking to each other. She had tried to get me back but I told her off because she had made it seem like the fight was my fault and that I had to make it up to her. So I went on with my life, always telling stories of our past to any one of my other friends.
Well, over the summer, I got a new boyfriend, about three months after my ex broke up with me, and I was super close to him, like I can't even describe how close we were. Well, I had gotten so mad at him because he was telling me all these things that made no sense to me when you put it together. So I kind of told him that I wanted to know if he ever loved me, and if not, then why lie? That was a huge fight, and I quit talking to him after I told him that I regretted dating him, which I never did. I still loved him, and still do.
Well, four months into my relationship with my now ex, I just felt completely and utterly depressed because I had no one to talk to and my boyfriend (then) wasn't making me feel all that great. I felt like it was just about getting into my pants with him, but I couldn't really tell that my new friend because she had history with him and they were close, so I didn't feel close enough to her but the people who I felt closest to, I alienated over the summer.
I don't know what happened to you and your friends, but you said that some of these friendships were hurt by your pride, just like my two were, so maybe you can apologize because if they were your friends, chances are, they miss you as much as you miss them.
My story ends with some good news. I apologized to both of my friends, and I am so much more happier than I had been through the 3 and 5 months of not talking to them. My first friend gets me out of my house more often then my ex ever did, and my ex (before the new one) and I are as close as we had been before I started dating the other guy. All because I finally sucked it up and apologized and told them that my life was not complete without them.
Like I earlier stated, I've the slightest idea as to what happened to you and your friends, but you never know what you will get if you just say, "I miss you."