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July 6, 2010
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Real: Fangs ripping open the neck of a whore, sucking out her blood until she's a shriveled up corpse.
Twilight: Teeth used to munch gently on a bunny rabbit.

Real: Skin burning painfully in the rays of the sun until the entire body is consumed in fire.
Twilight: Skin sparkling.

Real: A forbidden love that can never be, creating eternal suffering.
Twilight: A teenage lust of a couple months.

Real: A creature constantly having to outsmart the newer generations of vampire slayers and their cursed wooden states of death.
Twilight: An all powerful godmoding creature that can never ever be killed, unless by another vampire, but even then wins because it's just so gosh darn powerful.

Real: A bloodthirsty beast.
Twilight: A cute cuddly teddy bear.

Real: Enjoys masochistic or sadistic activities, or both.
Twilight: Is "emo."

Real: Sleeps in a grave or a coffin, usually in a huge mansion all by their lonesome self.
Twilight: Still lives at home with mom and dad.

Real: Rapes women.
Twilight: Practices abstinence.

Real: Slumbers during the day and hunts at night.
Twilight: Goes to high school during the day and plays baseball at night.

Real: Ends in tragedy.
Twilight: "And they lived happily ever after."
Writen for the Unseen Writers weekly theme: Oppisites.
I figured, what better oppisites than real or traditional vampires and the sparkly faeries of twilight.

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:icondvartgal13:
DvArtGal13 Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2014
ME GUSTA 
:megusta: :megusta: :megusta: :megusta: :megusta: :megusta: :megusta: :megusta: :megusta: :megusta: :megusta: :megusta: :megusta: :megusta: :megusta: :megusta: :megusta: :megusta: :megusta: :megusta: :megusta: :megusta: :megusta: :megusta: :megusta: :megusta: :megusta: :megusta: :megusta: 
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:iconi-am-a-fangirl:
i-am-a-fangirl Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
i am a twilight fan... and i find that funny :)
Reply
:iconmidoriaoki:
MidoriAoki Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Man, I'm proud of you. I couldn't do that better. :3
Reply
:iconpsychokiller21:
Psychokiller21 Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2013
Let's get back he days when if real vampires existed, Edward and his whole family would be killed for being a disgrace to his own race. 
Reply
:iconblackecho-guardian:
BlackEcho-Guardian Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I literally laughed so hard when I read this!!! Laughing my ass off! 
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:iconxeonartomega:
XeonartOmega Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
I heard Edward got raped....by a little girl
Reply
:icontheshipperoflove:
theshipperoflove Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Bwahahahahaha! XD
Reply
:iconmizosazai:
Mizosazai Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2013
real vampire don't sparkle!! because real vampire have to be badass, not cute teenage boys!!
reading this made me veery happy ^_^
Reply
:icontheaverageone:
TheAverageOne Featured By Owner May 12, 2013
:iconclapplz:
Reply
:iconpsychokiller21:
Psychokiller21 Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2013
How I felt
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