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Writing by BrRaInFrEeZe

poems by jackgrabbit13

writings by DoctorEvil06

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Submitted on
July 6, 2010
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1.6 KB


1,127 (who?)
Real: Fangs ripping open the neck of a whore, sucking out her blood until she's a shriveled up corpse.
Twilight: Teeth used to munch gently on a bunny rabbit.

Real: Skin burning painfully in the rays of the sun until the entire body is consumed in fire.
Twilight: Skin sparkling.

Real: A forbidden love that can never be, creating eternal suffering.
Twilight: A teenage lust of a couple months.

Real: A creature constantly having to outsmart the newer generations of vampire slayers and their cursed wooden states of death.
Twilight: An all powerful godmoding creature that can never ever be killed, unless by another vampire, but even then wins because it's just so gosh darn powerful.

Real: A bloodthirsty beast.
Twilight: A cute cuddly teddy bear.

Real: Enjoys masochistic or sadistic activities, or both.
Twilight: Is "emo."

Real: Sleeps in a grave or a coffin, usually in a huge mansion all by their lonesome self.
Twilight: Still lives at home with mom and dad.

Real: Rapes women.
Twilight: Practices abstinence.

Real: Slumbers during the day and hunts at night.
Twilight: Goes to high school during the day and plays baseball at night.

Real: Ends in tragedy.
Twilight: "And they lived happily ever after."
Writen for the Unseen Writers weekly theme: Oppisites.
I figured, what better oppisites than real or traditional vampires and the sparkly faeries of twilight.

Add a Comment:
polkadottedpolkadots Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2014
"real" vampires. 
DvArtGal13 Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2014
:megusta: :megusta: :megusta: :megusta: :megusta: :megusta: :megusta: :megusta: :megusta: :megusta: :megusta: :megusta: :megusta: :megusta: :megusta: :megusta: :megusta: :megusta: :megusta: :megusta: :megusta: :megusta: :megusta: :megusta: :megusta: :megusta: :megusta: :megusta: :megusta: 
i-am-a-fangirl Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
i am a twilight fan... and i find that funny :)
MidoriAoki Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Man, I'm proud of you. I couldn't do that better. :3
Psychokiller21 Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2013
Let's get back he days when if real vampires existed, Edward and his whole family would be killed for being a disgrace to his own race. 
BlackEcho-Guardian Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I literally laughed so hard when I read this!!! Laughing my ass off! 
XeonartOmega Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
I heard Edward got a little girl
theshipperoflove Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Bwahahahahaha! XD
Mizosazai Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2013
real vampire don't sparkle!! because real vampire have to be badass, not cute teenage boys!!
reading this made me veery happy ^_^
TheAverageOne Featured By Owner May 12, 2013
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