Real: Fangs ripping open the neck of a whore, sucking out her blood until she's a shriveled up corpse.
Twilight: Teeth used to munch gently on a bunny rabbit.
Real: Skin burning painfully in the rays of the sun until the entire body is consumed in fire.
Twilight: Skin sparkling.
Real: A forbidden love that can never be, creating eternal suffering.
Twilight: A teenage lust of a couple months.
Real: A creature constantly having to outsmart the newer generations of vampire slayers and their cursed wooden states of death.
Twilight: An all powerful godmoding creature that can never ever be killed, unless by another vampire, but even then wins because it's just so gosh darn powerful.
Real: A bloodthirsty beast.
Twilight: A cute cuddly teddy bear.
Real: Enjoys masochistic or sadistic activities, or both.
Twilight: Is "emo."
Real: Sleeps in a grave or a coffin, usually in a huge mansion all by their lonesome self.
Twilight: Still lives at home with mom and dad.
Real: Rapes women.
Twilight: Practices abstinence.
Real: Slumbers during the day and hunts at night.
Twilight: Goes to high school during the day and plays baseball at night.
Real: Ends in tragedy.
Twilight: "And they lived happily ever after."